Coconut Shrimp with Sweet Chili Dipping Sauce

As we were driving around last night, my son, out of the middle of nowhere says, "You know what the fourth item on my bucket list is?  Sitting on a copy machine and making a copy."  I questioned him a little more to ensure that it is with his pants on, and it is.  Phew.  My son's little butt does not need to be xeroxed.

These coconut shrimp are delicious.  These that are pictures were kept in the deep fryer a little too long.  They should be a bit more golden.  Don't let the over doneness scare you away.  They were so good.  The Sweet Chili dipping sauce was amazing as well.  Every time I've made these for company, they always go fast.  I'm always disappointed that I didn't make more, but shrimp is just so darn expensive.  

Coconut Shrimp with Sweet Chili Dipping Sauce
source: Sallysbakingaddiction.com

Ingredients:

1/3 c flour
1/2 t salt
1/2 t pepper
2 lg eggs, beaten
3/4 c Panko (no- you can't use regular bread crumbs *slap on the wrist*)
1 c sweetened shredded coconut
1 pound raw large shrimp, peeled and deveined

2 T Thai sweet Chili sauce
1/4 c orange marmalade

oil for frying

Get 3 bowls.  In the first, combine the flour, salt, and pepper.  In the second, the beaten eggs.  In the third, combine the Panko and coconut.

Dip the shrimp in the flour mixture, then the eggs, then the coconut-Panko mixture, pressing gently to adhere.  The more coconut, the better!

Place the coconut shrimp on a plate while preparing the rest of them.

Add enough oil to cover the bottom of the pan and preheat the oil in a skillet over medium heat.  Fry about 6 or 7 at a time until the are golden brown, about 3 minutes.  Flip and fry the second side.  If you're not too health conscious like me and have a deep fat fryer, set the temperature to 325 and fry until golden brown.  I had the temp a bit too high for the shrimp pictured.  Lesson learned!

Place the fried shrimp on a paper towel-lined plate to drain.

While they are cooling, combine the Thai sweet chili sauce and the orange marmalade.  Serve on the side.

Easy Fully Loaded Potato Skins

What is it about watching a big football game that makes me want to eat like crap?!  I'm pretty good about eating kind of healthy, but once the Super Bowl comes around, all bets are off!!  I cook for hours, eat everything in sight, and don't regret a single bite.  These potato skins graced our table on Super Bowl Sunday, and they were delicious.  They are a little labor intensive, but I like that the flavor of the potato skins was not like, "Hey!  Here I am!  Can you taste my earthy dirt flavor" as it smacks ya in the face.  Regular potato skins tend to have a stronger flavor of the skins, and I'm not much of a fan.

These were cheesy and fabulous.  Next time you want to indulge yourself in something lacking in all nutritional value and full of fat- this is your ticket to happiness.  :)

Easy Fully Loaded Potato Skins
Source: iheartnaptime.com

4 large baking potatoes
3 T butter, melted
2 t kosher salt
1 1/2 c shredded cheddar cheese
7 slices bacon, cooked and crumbled
Sour cream
green onions

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

Prepare your baking sheet.  Line a cookie sheet with foil and spray with non-stick cooking spray.

Wash the potatoes well.  Cut off the ends of the potatoes and toss them.  Slice the rest of the potato into 1/2 inch slices.  Don'd do them too much thinner since you want them to hold up for the cooking and toppings.

Brush both sides with butter and sprinkle with the salt.

Lay them on the prepared cookie sheet in a single layer.  Bake for 15 minutes.  Take them out and flip them.  Bake for another 15-20 minutes.

When the potatoes are done, sprinkle the cheese and bacon on top.  Return to the oven for another 3-5 minutes, or until the cheese is melted.  Remove from the oven.

Transfer the potato slices to your serving platter.  Place a small dollop of sour cream on top and sprinkle with green onions.

Chipotle Salsa

My best friend Sara and her husband always tease me and how I cook.  If I bring them cookies or something, they go on and say things like, "Oh, I just made these with some fresh eggs from my chicken hatchery in the backyard, I ground the wheat that I grew in my garden, and I used the butter I churned by hand after milking my prize-winning cow Betsy Sue."

I recently made this chipotle salsa and gave half of it to them.  When the husband texting me to see how I made it, I wrote him back saying, "I used my hand-picked, perfectly ripened tomatoes from my garden, fresh chili peppers imported directly from Mexico, and fresh limes straight from a tree in my citrus grove." 'Cause I live in Las Vegas and have room for a cow, a hatchery, and a citrus grove.  Heck, I'm lucky that my rosebushes survive year to year.

This salsa though... It is so good.  It can't be easier to make, and it is amazing.  It tastes a lot like the salsa from Chevy's, which I can eat by the bucketful.  Next time you have a get together, whip up a batch of this and brace yourself for recipe requests.

Chipotle Salsa

source: The Pioneer Woman Cooks: A Year of Holidays pg. 138

Yield: 5 cups!

Two 15 oz. cans diced tomatoes

One 10 oz. can diced tomatoes with green chilies (like Ro-Tel)

1 medium onion, diced

1-3 chipotle peppers in adobo (I used 1 to keep the heat down.  If you like more heat, add more)

1 t cumin

1 t salt

1/2 t ground pepper

1 t sugar

1 bunch cilantro, stems removed

1/4 c lime juice

This directions are pretty tricky... brace yourself.  Add all ingredients in a blender and turn it on.  Blend until it's a nice consistency like the picture above.  Done and done.

Soft Mall Pretzels and Cheese Dip

Back in the days of my youth, I used to work at the mall.  I worked at a few different kiosks and in the stores.  Being that I would usually go right from school to work, I rarely had time to eat at home.  I was stuck eating mall food most days, hence the reason I wasn't the skinniest kid you've ever seen.  One day, I was sitting at my kiosk waiting for people to come by while I was snacking on some mall pretzels for dinner.  All of the sudden, I heard this faint music playing.  Quizzically, I looked around.  I couldn't find the source of the music at first, but then I spotted it.  Oh, boy.  Did I ever.  I saw an older, heavier guy with long, brown flowing hair pressed down under his mesh trucker hat sitting on a rascal driving full speed ahead.  He had an American flag duct taped to the back of his chair and a boombox from the 80s jimmy-rigged to the back of his chair with bungee cords.  As if this wasn't hilarious enough, the song... oh, man.  He was blaring "Mmm-bop" by Hansen, flying through the mall at full speed (and when I say full speed, I mean like 2 miles an hour), with his American flag flapping behind.  The sweet sound of Hansen filled the mall.  God Bless America and Hansen.  And mall pretzels.


These stupid pretzels were the most amazing pretzel I have ever tasted.  Aunt Annie and Wetzel, wherever you are... your pretzels are dead to me!  I was sure that they wouldn't turn out or taste very good, but sweet mercy, they were delicious.  I think my oldest daughter inhaled hers in a matter of seconds saying something like, "Mom, thesefsee  preiahkjanscalsatzels  arejrrerer aiaufyhasfamaziashring."  I couldn't understand it much since her mouth was completely full, but I'm pretty sure she said that the pretzels were amazing.  You could make pretzel bites for a great appetizer for "the big game."  Heaven forbid me mention the S word in February.  I don't need to be sued.  If I was, I'd want a batch of these pretzels as my comfort food.  Ridiculously delicious.



Soft Mall Pretzels
source: http://www.onceuponachef.com/2009/08/soft-pretzels.html


cheese sauce recipe: sallysbakingaddiction.com




Ingredients:
1 c milk
1 package active dry yeast (2 1/4 t)
3 T light brown sugar
2 1/4 c flour
5 T unsalted butter, divided
1 t salt
1/3 c baking soda
coarse salt


Warm the milk in a large glass bowl in the microwave for 40 seconds.  Add the yeast.  Stir to dissolve.  Let the yeast soften for two minutes.  Stir in the brown sugar and 1 c of flour.   Mix well with a wooden spoon.  Melt 2 tablespoons of the butter and mix it in.  Add the remaining 1 1/4 c flour and salt.  Mix until your have a sticky dough.  If needed, add more flour.  (I added about 2-3 more tablespoons to cut down on the stickiness.) 


Turn the dough onto a lightly floured surface and knead until the dough is smooth but still slightly tacky. 


Place the dough in a lightly greased bowl, cover, and let rise for an hour, or until doubled in size. 


Preheat the oven to 450 degrees.  Line a cookie sheet with parchment and spray with cooking spray. 


Punch the dough down and divide into six equal-sized balls. Roll each ball in a rope about 24-30 inches long.  It can be tricky to get the dough into ropes that long without breaking.  If you can only get them 18-24 long, that's fine.  Mine came out to be about 20 inches long.


Combine 3 c of warm water and 1/3 c baking soda.  Stir to dissolve.


Shape the ropes into a pretzel shape, dip it in the water, reshape if necessary, and place on the cookie sheet.  Sprinkle with coarse salt.


Bake until golden, 10-12 minutes.  When they come out, brush the tops with the remaining melted butter.


Serve with cheese sauce.


Ingredients for cheese sauce:
1 c whole milk
2 T unsalted butter
2 T flour
1 c sharp cheddar cheese
1 T hot sauce (reduce if you don't like heat!)
1/2 t cayenne (reduce if you don't like heat!)
salt and pepper to taste.


Melt the butter in a saucepan.  Add the flour and whisk to combine.  Cook over medium heat for 2 minutes.  Slowly add the milk, whisking as you add it.  Whisk constantly for five minutes.  The mixture will thicken.  Add the cheese and whisk until melted.  Add the hot sauce and cayenne (you can omit this entirely if you don't want any heat).  Add salt and pepper to taste.

Roasted Tomato Salsa

My kids found this "Mommy Journal" that I had written in when my first two kids were 4 and 2.  They were reading the entries tonight, and one of them read:

Owen (he was about 2 1/2) opened the pantry door, sighed, and said, "Oh, great.  No more Cheetos."  He then slammed the pantry door and walked off.  

Ha!  That's my boy!  I always loved Cheetos.  He also loves and chips and salsa, and he gave this salsa the stamp of approval.  It is seriously so good.  It tastes similar to Chevy's salsa, and I love that stuff.  It takes some time to prepare and roast the vegetables, but after that, it's so simple!  I liked this better than my Sweet Heat Salsa that was always my go-to recipe.  Shoot... I'd drink this stuff for breakfast.  Add some guacamole, enchiladas, and beans, and you've got one amazing meal!

Roasted Tomato Salsa
Source: Theyummylife.com

7 Roma tomatoes
2 Anaheim peppers
1 jalapeno pepper
1 medium onion, cut into 6ths
3 cloves garlic
1/4 c cilantro
1 t. dried oregano
1 1/2 t. cumin
1 1/2 t. salt
1 t. pepper
1/4 c. lime juice
1 1/2 T. apple cider vinegar

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees.

Cut the top of the Roma tomatoes and half them.  Place them on a cookie sheet.  Put the whole peppers, the cut onion, and garlic cloves on the cookie sheet as well.

Roast for 30 minutes.  Oh, man.  Your house is going to smell delicious!

Once the thirty minutes is up, remove the cookie sheet and place another cookie sheet, inverted, on top the hot one.  This will allow the vegetables to get steamed.  Leave it be for ten minutes.  After ten minutes, remove the top cookie sheet (it'll be hot!).  Peel off the skins of the peppers and tomatoes. They should come right off.  Discard the skins.

Remove the veins and seeds from the inside of the peppers- unless you want to breath fire after eating the salsa.  In that case, leave them in.

Place all the roasted ingredients in a food processor, add the remaining ingredients, and pulse until it reached your desired consistency.

Place it in the fridge for four hours or overnight.  The flavors will blend wonderfully with the extra sitting time.

Hooray for delicious salsa.

Roasted Red Pepper Hummus

I was talking to a friend recently, and he mentioned that brownies are one of the four main food groups.  Being that I believe that the government, Lord Business, or whoever creates these things has our food pyramid all wrong because clearly, chocolate should be on there on a main section, he peaked my curiosity.  What are the other food groups, I inquired.  This sounds like a food pyramid I can get behind!  He quickly replied, "Candy Corn, Candy Canes, and hummus."  It sounds like Buddy the Elf took a trip to the Middle East and decided to forego syrup as one his four food groups.  I can't say I would blame him!  This stuff is delicious.  Sure, Buddy, it doesn't have 8 pounds of sugar per tablespoon, or any for that matter, but I think this is a dip that he would get behind if he tasted it.  I'd just be nervous about what his breakfast would end up like- spaghetti noodles, candy corns, candy cane chunks, and hummus.  Delicious!

For the hummus recipe, I added the roasted red pepper because who doesn't want roasted red pepper in their hummus?!  Feel free to omit that part if you want quick, easy hummus.  Or use jarred roasted red peppers instead.  If you're being more health conscious as well, you can skip the pita chips and use fresh vegetables or candy canes, if you're an elf from the North Pole who likes to call himself a Cotton-headed Ninny Muggins. 

Roasted Red Pepper Hummus

source: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/roasted-red-pepper-hummus-with-homemade-pita-chips-recipe.html and http://beingfrugalbychoice.com/2012/05/i-ate-ton-of-crappy-hummus-to-create.html

Ingredients:

Pita chips:

4 pita breads, split in half

1/2 c olive oil

1 T minced garlic

1 t Emeril's essence (see below)

Emeril's Essence

2 1/2 t paprika

2 t salt

2 t garlic powder

1 t black pepper

1 t onion powder

1 t cayenne

1 t oregano

1 t thyme

For the Hummus:

1 red pepper

1 can Garbanzo beans (also called chickpeas)

2 1/2 cloves of garlic

juice of 1/2 lemon

1/2 t salt

1 1/2 T olive oil

1/8 t smoked paprika, plus more for sprinkling on top

1/8 t sumac, plus more for sprinkling (I didn't use this)

2 T tahini (I found this at Trader Joe's by the prepared dips and refrigerated cheeses)

sesame seeds

dried parsley

For the pita chips, mix all ingredients for Emeril's Essence and set aside.

Preheat the oven to 300 degrees.  Combine the olive oil, garlic, and 2 t of Emeril's essence in a bowl.  

Split the pita bread in half through the middle, so you have two circles. Place the pita bread on a cookie sheet, with the rough, inside part face-up.  Brush the olive oil mixture over all of the pita bread.  Stack them up and cut them into quarters.  Arrange the pieces evenly in a single layer and bake for 20 minutes or until crispy and golden brown.  

While they are cooking, preheat the grill to medium heat.  Place the whole red pepper on the grill.  Cook each side for 2-3 minutes or until blackened.  

Once all side have been grilled, place the red pepper in a ziplock bag for ten minutes.  The steam will soften the skin and allow it to be peeled right off.  

After ten minutes, remove the pepper from the bag and peel off the skin.  Discard the skin.  Cut the pepper open and remove the seeds and veins.  Cut off the stem.  All you should have left is nice, soft, skinless, roasted red pepper.  

Drain the canned beans, reserving the liquid and rinse the beans.

In a food processor, place the beans, 1/2 of the roasted red pepper, garlic, tahini, lemon juice, and salt.  Blend for a minute.  After a minute, add the olive oil slowly while the machine is still running.  Add a bit of the reserved liquid, if needed.  Once the hummus is nice and smooth, add the smoked paprika and sumac, if using.  Pulse a few times to mix it in.  

Put the hummus into a serving bowl.  Dice the remaining half of the roasted red pepper and place it on top of the hummus in the center (see the picture).  Drizzle some olive oil over the top.  Sprinkle some smoked paprika, sesame seeds, parsley, and sumac on top.  

Serve with the pita chips.  

Amazing, Easy Fruit Dip

I love eating fresh fruit, but I love it even more if I have something fattening and delicious to dip it in to ruin any amount of nutritional value.  This dip is a whopping three ingredients, and it was wonderful.  

7 oz. marshmallow creme
1 8 oz package cream cheese, softened
2 T frozen orange juice concentrate

Spoon the marshmallow creme into a microwave-safe bowl.  Microwave it for 20 seconds.  Add the softened cream cheese and orange juice concentrate.  Whisk well to combine.

Top with lemon or orange zest to make it look pretty, if you'd like.  :)

Buffalo Chicken Dip

Alright, stop what you're doing, 'cause I'm about to ruin... your diet.  This dip is dangerous!  I first tasted this when my friend Angel brought it to a superbowl party.  I think that I single-handedly ate half of it!  I have always loved buffalo chicken stuff, so this dip is right up my alley.  This is THE best chip dip- ever!  Sorry guacamole and salsa.  Next to this- you are dead to me!  While this dip is way more unhealthy, I could eat it every day without thinking twice, despite the possible repercussions to my health.  I'm salivating at this exact moment just thinking about it!  Om nom nom.  

The original recipe for this calls for canned chicken, but No!  Chicken only stays good for a couple days.  What in the tarnation is preserving that chicken for over a year!?  The fresh chicken is so much better.  Also, once it is cooked, throw it in a mixer with a paddle attachment, turn it on low, and watch the chicken magically shred to perfection.  I bet you didn't know you could be such a magician in the kitchen!

I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me for introducing this dip to you!  It's dangerously delicious!

Buffalo Chicken Dip

source: http://franksredhot.com/recipes/franks-redhot-buffalo-chicken-dip-RE1242

8 oz. cream cheese, softened

1/2 c blue cheese or ranch dressing

1/2 c Frank's Red Hot

1/2 c crumbled blue cheese or mozzarella cheese

2 chicken breasts, cooked and shredded (recipe calls for canned- ick!)

Heat the oven to 350 degrees.

In a large bowl, stir the cream cheese until smooth.  Mix in salad dressing, Red Hot, and cheese.  Add the chicken.

Bake for twenty minutes.  

You can also put it all in a crockpot and cook on low until heated through.  

Bacon and Chicken Bites in Sweet-Dijon Mustard Glaze

Here in good ol' Las Vegas, the weather turns ridiculously beautiful in March.  It's usually around 65-75 for the high all month, and that is prime grilling season!  I use to be afraid of the grill like it was some sort of savage beast that could never be tamed.  Oh, I've tamed it all right.  I can make that savage beast do cartwheels while whistling the tune of the theme song for the Golden Girls.  

These little chicken bites are wonderful.  I always worry that the Dijon glaze will be too overpowering, but it was great.  I really enjoyed the sweetness from the orange marmalade and the zip from the ginger.  These would be perfect for any upcoming summer BBQ.  Next time, I'll sprinkle a little brown sugar on top for the last 4-5 minutes.  drool...

Bacon and Chicken Bites in Sweet-Dijon Mustard Glaze
source: Big Book of Barbecue

2 boneless skinless chicken breasts
8 bacon slices, cut into thirds
1/2 c orange marmalade
1/4 c lite soy sauce
2 T dijon mustard
3/4 t ginger
1/4 t garlic powder

Cut the chicken breasts into 1-inch pieces.  Wrap one piece of bacon (1/3 of the original piece) around each chicken chunk and secure with a toothpick.

In a large bowl, combine the orange marmalade, soy sauce, Dijon mustard, ginger, and garlic powder.  Whisk to combine.  Reserve 1/4 c of this and set aside. Add the bacon-wrapped chicken pieces into the large bowl with the glaze.  Toss to combine.  Cover and chill for two hours, turning occasionally.

After the two hours (I only did 30 minutes, and it was delicious), remove the chicken.  Toss the leftover glaze from the marinating chicken.

Preheat the grill to 350-400 degrees (medium-high).  Grill the chicken, covered, for 4-5 minutes on each side or until the chicken is cooked through.

Drizzle the remaining glaze onto the chicken pieces just before serving.

Hot Corn Dip

I'm not a sports fan.  At all.  I don't have a team that I obsess over or paint my face the colors of the team on their opening game.  However, I do get a huge kick out of watching sporting events for the sole purpose of seeing the depressed fans of the losing team.  If there are rival college football teams playing, those fans are the most dramatic.  I've seen people crying in the stands when their team loses.  You'd think that their grandma got attacked by a flock of pigeons while taking a stroll to the local market and got hospitalized with a rare disease from being pecked on the forearm.  It'll be okay, folks!  

I think a bit of this dip would keep them in high spirits even if their obsession team loses.  This is a great alternative to the usual dips found at football parties.  Not that there is anything wrong with those dips.  I love them, too.  In fact, I crave my friend Angel's buffalo chicken dip fortnightly.  Why did you have to move to Utah?!  This was tasty.  I quite enjoyed it, and I think you will too.

Hot Corn Dip

source:  http://ginamarieskitchen.com/2010/10/28/hot-corn-dip-2/ via Pinterest

1 c shredded cheddar cheese

1 c Monterey Jack cheese

2 T chipotle pepper in adobo sauce, minced (I omitted this so my husband's esophagus didn't rupture from heartburn)

1 can 4 oz diced green chilies, undrained

1/2 c mayonnaise

1/4 t garlic powder

11 oz can of corn

1 small tomato

2 T cilantro, chopped

2 T green onion, sliced

Preheat the oven to 350.  

In an oven safe bowl, mix the cheeses, chipotle peppers (if using), green chilies, mayonnaise, garlic powder, and corn.  

Bake it for twenty minutes.

Take it out and top it with the diced tomatoes, cilantro, and green onions.

Serve with chips.

Onion Rings of Fire

When my husband and I were engaged, we went to my parent's house on the Fourth of July to do some fireworks in the front of the house.  My dad, beaming with an ear-to-ear smile, brought out this big ol' package of fireworks that he got at Sam's Club for a great price.  We just couldn't get over how cheap these big fireworks were.  Well, my brother lit the first one, and it was smoke... nothing but smoke.  We thought, "Hmm... that was a pretty cool smoke bomb.  It let off quite a bit of smoke.  We lit the next one.  Smoke.  Curious, we looked at the package and sure enough they were nothing but big smoke bombs.  We were a bit disgusted at first, but once we lit the rest of them all at the same time, we laughed hysterically as the whole street filled up with a plethora of colored smoke.  It still, almost ten years later, is one of my favorite fourths. 

Speaking of fireworks, I love me some Johnny Cash.  His music is great.  "Ring of Fire" is a classic of his, and although it generally reminds me of firework displays since you can't watch a firework show without that song popping up, I think it will from here on out remind me of these onion rings.  These were so tasty!  They were crunchy.  They had some good flavor.  They clear your sinuses.  They are hot!  Good golly!  The 1/4 c of hot sauce really comes through, so if you don't like heat, keep it out or keep it down.  If you love heat, you're in luck.  These are amazing.

Onion Rings of Fire (originally called "Rojo Onion Rings")
source: Guy Fieri Food

1/4 c hot sauce (If you can't handle heat, take it down to 1-2 T of hot sauce.)
1 T garlic powder
1/2 c ketchup

1 c buttermilk
1/2 c flour
2 c panko bread crumbs

fire extinguisher ;)

Canola oil

1 large sweet onion, cut into 3/8 inch slices, separated into rings, centers discarded

Soak the onion slices in the buttermilk for 30 minutes.

Meanwhile, prepare three bowls.  In the first, combine the hot sauce, ketchup, and garlic.  In the second, put the flour.  Put the panko bread crumbs into the third.

Once the onion slices are ready, place them in the flour, then the hot sauce mixture, then the panko bread crumbs.  Place them on a plate.

Once they are all dipped, put them in the fridge for 5-10 minutes.  Heat the oil in a saucepan over medium-high heat until it reaches 360 degrees. I used my deep fat fryer, but you can also heat them oil until a panko breadcrumb sizzles when you place it in there.

Fry the onion rings for about 3 minutes or until golden brown. Place on a paper towel-lined plate to drain a bit.

Serve with ketchup, ranch, or fry sauce.

Cranberry Cream Cheese Dip

Not so long ago, I went to a baby shower.  Not just any baby shower, though.  This was baby shower Bingo!  It was, by far, the best idea for a baby shower.  We went to someone's house, brought some food, and played bingo for two hours- they have the bingo cage, the Bingo bopper-things, and prizes for winners.  After we all played Bingo, we opened the baby presents.  This was pure brilliance.  Not only was the idea of playing bingo brilliant, but this dip was among the food table, and it was brilliant.  Never in a million years did I think that I would eat a cranberry salsa on top of cream cheese and say that it is amazing.  However, this stuff was ridiculous!  One of my friends sitting next me must have eaten three or four helpings of this stuff.  I only had one helping, but it's only because I had splurged on every sweet concoction on the table before I indulged in this.  Luckily, the girl that made it not only had recipes already printed out, but she had some left-over salsa that she gave me to take home.  Score!  This dip would be a lovely addition to a Christmas Eve buffet since it's got the red and green.  Or, shoot, eat it any time for a taste sensation.

Cranberry Cream Cheese Dip
source: Lil (thanks, pal!)

1 12 oz pkg fresh cranberries
1/4 c green onion, chopped
1/4 c chopped cilantro
1 small jalapeno, deveined, seeded, and diced
1 1/4 c sugar
1/4 t cumin
2 T lemon juice
dash salt
2 8 oz pkg cream cheese, softened

Chop the cranberries by hand, in a mini-chopper, or a food processor.

Add the chopped green onion, cilantro, and jalapeno to the cranberries.  Add the sugar, cumin, lemon juice, and salt to this.  Mix it together, cover, and refrigerate it for four hours.  The sugar and the cranberries blend together or something because they are not bitter at all! 

After four hours, place the cream cheese in your serving plate (preferably something with a rim) and spread it.  Top with the cranberry salsa.  If you don't want to bother with spreading the cream cheese, you can just plop the softened brick of cream cheese on a plate and top it with the salsa like I did in the picture. 

Serve it with Wheat Thins, Ritz, tortilla chips, or whatever other crackers you like. 

I know it looks crazy, but don't judge a book by its cover!  This stuff is glorious!

Holiday Cheese Ball

This is the Holy Grail of cheeseballs.  I really shouldn't need to give any further explanation about why you should recreate this cheeseball ASAP.  If it weren't for my cheeseball-loving husband, I probably never would have found this recipe.  This is seriously one serious ball of cheese, among other magical ingredients.  It was quickly devoured on Christmas Eve by my family, and it will be by yours as well.

Holiday Cheese Ball
Source: America's Test Kitchen Family Cookbook

8 oz extra sharp cheddar cheese
8 oz cream cheese, softened
4 oz blue cheese, crumbled (1 cup)
4 T butter, softened
2 T minced onion, rinsed and patted dry
1 T Worcestershire sauce
1 1/2 t tabasco sauce
1 garlic clove, minced
1/8 t pepper

Chopped pecans

Place all ingredients, except the pecans, in a food processor.  If you don't have a food processor, you can use a mixer to thoroughly combine all the ingredients.  Beat it until smooth.

Place a piece of Saran Wrap into a bowl and plop the cheese mixture into the Saran wrap.  Wrap the plastic wrap around the cheese ball and shape into a ball.  Place it into the fridge and let it set for about 3-4 hours. Or, if you have a husband like mine, you can wait only two.

If you're using the pecans, roll the cheeseball in them to coat the outside of the cheeseball.  You can also use sliced almonds, walnuts, or fresh herbs to coat the outside.

Serve with crackers, vegetables, or just shove your face into the side and take a bite.  All will be glorious.

Cheese-Trio Artichoke and Spinach Dip

Okay... Take all the Spinach-Artichoke dips you've ever tried, roll them into a big ball and throw them out the window.  In fact, stick them all in a little cheesecloth, tie it with  a piece of yarn, walk it all the way to the top of the Empire State Building, and throw it down to watch it splatter all over the unsuspecting tourists.  I'm sure there will be some stray dogs that would be happy to lick them all clean.  Yes, even the dog will like this, although there probably won't be any left over for it.  

I found this recipe in the December 11/January 12 issue of Taste of Home's Simple and Delicious.  I didn't think my husband would eat it, so I made it to take over to my mom's house for Sunday dinner.  This stuff was devoured by everyone- even my husband.  My brother said, "I am having a love affair with this dip!" After my husband ate his 6th or 7th piece of bread with this dip, my brother admitted that he was in the teens for his helping.  If you like Spinach-Artichoke dip, look no further for an amazing recipe.  I can honestly say that I have never tasted a better one!  

 Cheese-Trio Artichoke and Spinach Dip
source: Simple and Delicious December 11/January 12 issue

1 c chopped fresh mushrooms
1 T butter
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 1/2 c mayonnaise
8 oz cream cheese
1 c plus 2 T Parmesan cheese, divided
1 c mozzarella cheese, divided
1 can (14 oz) artichoke hearts, rinsed, drained, and chopped
1 pkg (10 oz) frozen chopped spinach, thawed and squeezed dry
1/4 c diced red pepper

Toasted baguette slices

Melt the butter in a skillet and saute the chopped mushrooms until they are softened.

 Add the minced garlic and saute one minute longer.  Set side.

 Combine the mayonnaise, softened cream cheese, 1 c Parmesan, and 3/4 c mozzarella in a large bowl.

 Once the artichokes are rinsed and dried, chop them up into small pieces.

 Add the artichokes, thawed spinach, red pepper, and the mushroom mixture to the cream cheese mixture.

 Mix it all together, and place it in the slow cooker.  Top it with the remaining 1/4 c mozzarella and 2 T Parmesan.  Let it cook on low for 2-3 hours.

While it is cooking, slice a baguette into slices.  Slather some butter on both sides and toast on a griddle heated over medium heat.  Once the bottom is golden brown, turn them and toast the other side.  If you're not serving them immediately, place them in aluminum foil and wrap them to keep them warm.  

 Serve the dip while warm with the toasted slices.  Hot diggity!

Southwest Eggrolls with Avocado Ranch

Get out that DEEP, FAT fryer.  Don't those words just invoke lovely images of skinny women sun-bathing on sandy, white beaches while being spritzed with tanning oil?  No?  Shucks.  I'm just trying to redeem the reputation of the poor deep fat fryer.  I think it's gets a bad rap but I've got its back since without it, I cannot not make cream cheese rangoons, deep fried Oreos, and homemade fries.  Must I go on?  Because I can.  In fact, I can go on and on.  I love me some deep fried food.  :) 

This recipe is just one more reason why I love to bust out my fryer.  Don't worry- it's only a couple times a month that I even use that thing.    Anyway, this recipe is a keeper.  I had some Sothwest Eggrolls at Chiles years ago, and I loved those, too.  I don't know how similar these are, but they've got to be just as good.  I scarfed up more of these than any one person should at a single sitting.  These would be a great appetizer for a get-together or as a side dish from some grilled chicken.

And be sure that when you eat them (along with any fried food), you visualize yourself as a skinny chick on a beach.  Unless you're a dude.  That would just be weird.  Unless you're a dude that wants to visualize being a dude that's rockin' a checkered speedo and blasting an Ace of Base cassette on a boombox at the beach.  That would rule.

 Southwest Eggrolls with Avocado Ranch
source: Worldwide Ward Cookbook- Secret Recipes

2 1/2 c chicken, cooked and shredded
1 1/2 c Mexican cheese blend, shredded
2/3 c frozen corn, thawed
2/3 c black beans, drained and rinsed
5 green onions, chopped
1/4 c cilantro, minced
1 t salt
1 t cumin
1 t lime zest
1/4 t cayenne pepper
20 egg roll wrappers
oil for frying
1 c ranch dressing
1 medium, ripe avocado, peeled and mashed
1 T cilantro, minced
1 t lime zest or 1 t lime juice

In a large bowl, combine the shredded chicken, cheese, corn, black beans, green onions, cilantro, salt cumin, lime zest, and cayenne pepper.

 Mix it all up.

 Place an egg roll wrapper down and place about 1/4 c of mixture down the middle.

 Bring up the bottom point.

 Fold in the sides, and brush the top point with water.  Fold it down and press it to seal. 

 Voila!  A little eggroll. 

 Fry in 375 degree oil  until they are golden brown.  Remove them and let them rest of paper towel until you're ready to eat them.

While they're cooling, combine the ranch dressing, avocado, cilantro, and lime zest.

 Serve the egg rolls with the avocado dip.

Bacon-Wrapped Lil' Smokies (best appetizer ever!)

Imagine that you are Aladdin and find the magic lamp.  After gently rubbing the side, a genie pops out.  Let's all pray that it's not with the voice of Robin Williams though.  If that were the case, I'd bury that lamp back into the cave of wonders.  Anywho- If you had three wishes, what would they be?  An unlimited supply of money?  A dancing llama named Josie?  A flying car?  A genie with the voice of Jerry Seinfeld?  Well, I think one of my wishes would be a plate of these!  I'm telling you... this is my new favorite appetizer, and I will make them time and time and time again.  They were the perfect blend of salty, sweet, and meaty.  Besides, who doesn't love bacon?  In fact, once in the grocery store my husband saw this girl holding a package of bacon.  She yelled down the aisle to her dad, "Hey, dad... I cannot LIVE without this bacon."  Amen, sister.  Amen.

Bacon-Wrapped Lil' Smokies
source: "Our Best Bites" Cookbook

1 pkg Lil' Smokies
1 package of bacon
brown sugar

Cut the whole slab of bacon into thirds.  Wrap one Lil' Smoky with a piece of bacon.  Place it seam side down on a foil-lined baking sheet.  Continue with the rest of them.  Sprinkle with brown sugar.

Bake in a 350 degree oven for 25-30 minutes or until the bacon is starting to brown.   Remove from the oven and place a toothpick in each to serve.  Sprinkle a little more brown sugar on top for looks. 

Orange Fruit Dip

Fruit by itself is so delicious.  Then, you add something creamy, fluffy, sweet, and crazy delicious to destroy any trace of nutritional value and it becomes even better.  I never thought I'd find a fruit dip as good as my mom's, but I think I've found one that is just as amazing.  Thank you to Ourbestbites.com for adding this recipe into your cookbook.  I fluffed this one up the other day for a Labor Day BBQ, and my family could not keep their hands off of it.  I actually caught my brother trying to drink it. Okay, not really, but he did keep saying how amazing it was. 

Orange Fruit Dip
source: Our Best Bites Cookbook (a must-have for any one- yes, you!)

1 (8 oz) package cream cheese, softened
2 t orange zest
3 T fresh orange juice
1/4 t vanilla
pinch salt
1 (7 oz.) jar marshmallow creme

Once the cream cheese is softened, beat it with a mixer, along with the orange zest, orange juice and vanilla.  Once it is smooth, add the marshmallow creme and blend.

Serve with fresh fruit.  The pineapple and strawberries were especially delicious with this dip, but I think that if you dipped pig's feet in this dip, it would turn those little piggies into something marvelous- although I don't recommend that.  :)

Antipasto Kabobs

I think I need to go talk to a psychiatrist about my obsession with food on sticks.  There's just something about it!  I recently got a Taste of Home Italian Favorites book, and when I stumbled upon this recipe, I lit up like the leg lamp on "A Christmas Story." First off, antipasto is great anyway.  There nothing wrong with marinated cheese and meat in my book.  Then, you add some fresh basil, olives, and tortellini.  Good Grief.  Talk about a dream come true.  If you're having a dinner party with Italian food, bust out these little appetizers.  People will think that Criss Angel showed up because these will just disappear.  Oh, yes I did. 

Antipasto Kabobs
Source: Taste of Home Italian Favorites

1 pkg refrigerated cheese tortellini
40 pimiento stuffed olives (I didn't use these)
40 black olives
40 chunks of mozzarella
3/4 c Italian dressing
40 slices of pepperoni (I was all out of this, too)
20 thin slices of hard salami, cut in half
fresh basil or parsley

*Keep in mind that this recipe will make 40 little appetizers.  If you are doing this for your family, you can cut the recipe down to fit your needs.

Cook the tortellini according to package directions.  Once it's done, rinse it with cold water.  Let it cool for a little bit.  Once it's cooled off, place the tortellini, olives, and mozzarella in a large plastic bag.  Add the Italian dressing.  Let it sit in the fridge for 4 hours or overnight.

For the mozzarella, you can use string cheese and cut it into chunks.

Once that is done marinating, take it out of the fridge.  Use toothpicks and skewer one tortellini, 1 piece of salami, 1 piece of pepperoni, a chunk of mozzarella, a piece of basil, and one of each olive.  If you can't fit it all on a toothpick, you can vary what you put on each toothpick or use large wooden skewers cut in half.

That's it!  My daughter helped me assemble these, and she loved it.  I think I'm passing on my kabobiness.  Oh, dear. 

Parmesan Fries with Cajun Fry Sauce

The last time we went to Disneyland, we went to Cafe Orleans to eat lunch.  Whoa, Nelly.  There was some good food in there!  We ordered this appetizer that had a fancy name, but it was actually french fries with Parmesan, garlic, and parsley.  It was served with this zippy Cajun sauce.  This is my best take on the recipe.  It turned out pretty similar!  I don't know how to make a "Remoulade" sauce, but this will do.  So, if you can't whisk yourself away to Disneyland for some tasty fries, give this recipe  try. 

Fries:

5 russett potatoes

salt

pepper

Shredded Parmesan cheese

Garlic powder

dried parsley

1/3 c ketchup

1/4 c mayonnaise

1/2 T Dijon mustard

1 T Cajun seasoning *see below

2 T garlic powder

2 T onion powder

1 T paprika

1 1/2 t cayenne pepper

1 1/2 t black pepper

3/4 t celery seed

3/4 t chili powder

1/2 t salt

1/2 t lemon pepper

1/4 t nutmeg

For the fries:

Get a large pot and get the water boiling.

Wash and peel the potatoes.  Cut the potatoes into about 3/8 inch slices.  It doesn't have to be exact... but close.  Boil the cut potatoes into the water and boil for 7 minutes.  Gently, take them out and place them on a paper towel lined cookie sheet. 

Preheat oil to 250 degree heat.  If you have a deep fat Fryer, use that.  If not, you'll need a thermometer to check on the temperature.  Fry the fries in batches in the 250 degree heat for three minutes.  Remove the fries and palce them on more paper towel to drain. 

Once that batch is done, heat the oil to 350.  Cook the fries in batches for about 5 more minutes or until they are a golden brown color.  Remove to a paper-towel lined cookie sheet.

Once they are done, spread them out a cookie sheet.

 Sprinkle the shredded Parmesan onto the fries.  I didn't have quite enough.  1/2 c should be plenty.  Lightly sprinkle with garlic powder and dried parsley. 

 Bake in a warm oven until the cheese melts a tad or broil for a minute or so.  mmm...

For the sauce, combine the ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard, and 1 T of the cajun seasoning.  Taste the sauce and add more seasoning if you'd like.

There you have it!  You may be wondering, "Is it really worth it to boil, fry, then fry the fries?"  Yes!  Absolutely!  It gives them a real quality texture that you can't get otherwise at home.  Just try it!  If you live by me, I'll loan you my deep fat fryer and give you the recipe for deep fried Oreos while I'm at it.  :)  And some broccoli, for your health's sake.

Parmesan Party Cheese Straws

Partyin'! Partyin'! Yeah!  What says "party" more that Parmesan Party Cheese Straws?  Well, there are a few things: a pinata of a Summer Wheatley, silly string, and a cardboard cutout of John Wayne. 

These cheese sticks would be a great addition to a party though.  They turn out slightly crispy, yet chewy at the same time.  You could do a myriad of flavors if you feel like getting creative.  They are simple to make, they look neat (they kind of remind me of those happy-thought provoking twisty slides at playgrounds), and they're good.  The best part is that you don't have to make the dough or let them rise.  Breadsticks in a flash!  Who can complain about that?  Not me, my friends, not me. 

 Parmesan Party Cheese Straws
source: America's Test Kitchen Family Cookbook

1 sheet of puff pastry, thawed
2 oz. of Parmesan or Asiago cheese (1 cup)
1/4 t salt
1/8 t pepper

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.  Let's turn up the heat!

Once the puff pastry sheet is thawed, sprinkle it with the Parmesan cheese, salt and pepper.

 Place plastic wrap over the dough and use a rolling pan to roll the dough into a ten inch square.  Rolling it out will press the cheese into the dough so it won't flee the scene when you start to twist them.

 Here is a close-up picture of the rolled-out dough.  It kind of looks like a negative picture of the night sky, minus the shreds of cheese.

 Using a pizza cutter, make about 12-13 strips.  They should be under an inch thick. 

 Grab one strip at each end and twist in opposite directions.  You can see below how they should look once they are twisted.  It's like twisting streamers at a party.  See?  The party just keeps on happening.

 Bake them for a whopping ten minutes or until they are starting to turn golden brown.  Cool for a few minutes before serving.

Now, just because they are called "Party Straws," it doesn't mean that you can only have them at a party.  For example, I made soup the other night to go along with these crispy morsels.  They were quite delightful alongside a bowl of soup.